The Best Gift
by onesweetbell
Summary: One shot for Southernfanfictionreview's 25 days of Christmas.  Edward and Bella have been friends for years.  This Christmas will he realize he's in love with her before she runs into the arms of another.


12/16/10 Sorry every one, I made a big mistake. I posted the wrong copy of this one shot, there were lots of mistakes. I have reposted the correct copy.

My entry for Southernfanfictionreview. A big thank you to her for putting these Christmas one shot presents together.

Thank you to Maniacmotherland, my awesome beta. She holds my hand and tweaks me just right. Make sure you show her some love this holiday season.

Hope you enjoy this and all the other one shots. You can check them out at .

Now on with the show, my happy little pervs.

**The Best Gift**

"Oh my god... so good… oh yeah… oh yeah… oh baby, harder, fuck me harder!" she screamed.

Christ, I just wanted her to shut the fuck up. We had been going at it for I don't know how long and I still wasn't even close. This chick, I couldn't remember her name, was so god damn loose.

"Come on baby, give it to me," she moaned, a little too convincingly.

_What the hell do you think I am doing?_

If she kept this up I was gonna lose my shit, and not in a good way. I gritted my teeth and started fucking her harder. Maybe that would shut her up.

"Yes, yes, I'm gonna come."

_Fuck me, this isn't working_.

I had her on all fours and was fucking her from behind, but I needed more grip from her pussy. I stood up, pulling out and quickly slammed her legs closed so my legs would be outside of hers, and then shoved my dick back into her.

_Ah, much better_.

After a few more thrusts, I could finally start to feel that familiar tingle building up. I had shut her voice out of my head and was able to concentrate on myself and finally blew my load.

As soon as I was able to move again, I pulled out and got off the bed. I quickly grabbed my clothes off the floor and made my way to the bathroom. I tossed the used condom in the toilet, quickly cleaned myself up then got dressed.

When I walked back out, she was laying naked on the bed smoking a cigarette. As I looked her over, I remembered why I had picked her up in the first place. She was fucking hot.

I had been at the library, trying to finish my last paper before the Christmas break. When I went to get a book from one of the back aisles, there she was bent over, pulling out a book from the bottom shelf. She had a nice little ass and when she stood back up and turned my way, I could see her big rack trying to poke its way out of the tiny little top she had on. She had this long fiery red hair that made her blue eyes pop. It didn't hurt that she had a pretty face as well. We got to talking and she sat with me at the table. Needless to say, I didn't get my paper finish and now had to go back and do it.

"By the looks of it, I take it there won't be a second round today?"

_As if I would stick my cock back in that sloppy old thing. Might as well go fuck a tube sock._

"No. I really need to finish my paper. But maybe some other time," I lied, but hey, I'd say whatever to get me out of there without a scene. That's what I always did. Leave 'em with a smile and hopes for more. However, the "more" usually never happened.

As I made my way through the campus back to the library, my phone rang. I pulled it out of my pocket to see who it was. I always look first before picking up, never knowing when some random bitch would call. When I saw it was my mom, I pretended I hadn't checked the number.

"What do you want?"

"Is that anyway to greet your mother, Edward?" she asked me.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. Hi, Mom, how are you? Is that better?" I said sweetly.

"Don't be an ass, son."

I laughed. "What's up, Mom?"

"I just wanted to see if you were all packed and ready to go yet."

"Mom, I'm not leaving for a few days yet. I still have time to pack my shit."

"Edward, you know that when you wait until the last minute, you always forget something. You should be prepared. I thought I thought you better than that."

"Yes, Mom." Now I was wishing I hadn't picked up the phone. She was really working my last nerve. "Don't worry, I won't forget."

"You always say that, but you still do."

"Mom, it's no big deal. If I don't have what I need when I get home, I'll just out and buy it."

"That's a waste of money, Edward. Just make a list and that way you won't forget anything."

"Fine, mom," I said, just so she'll get off my back. Damn, it's not like I don't know how to pack.

"Good. Now. I also called to let you know, there's been a change of plans..."

"Uh, what do you mean? I can't get a refund on my ticket, Mom. So please tell me you and Dad will be staying at home. Because I'm still coming," I said, cutting her off.

"Of course we will be home, silly boy. The change is that Bella has agreed to pick you up from the airport."

_Huh? What? Bella? _

"Bella?"

"Yes, Bella. Alice talked to her the other day. It seems she is going to be coming home also and since she lives in Seattle, Alice asked if she wouldn't mind picking you up."

"But I thought you were going to be there anyways."

"Yes, well, I was able to find what I needed in Port Angeles so I don't need to go to Seattle. I hope you don't mind. Bella's such a nice girl."

"No, Mom. It's fine." And it was.

We talked for a few more minutes and after hanging up my thoughts went straight to Bella. Seems like my brain wasn't the only thing excited about the new plans; my jeans suddenly felt a little tighter. I hadn't seen Bella since last summer, and boy had she grown up.

Alice, my sister, and Bella have been friends since grade school. They were both a year younger than me, and I had never thought of Bella anyway other than a friend. However, over the last few years, something had changed. Maybe it was because I had started looking at her as something other than my friend, or even my sister's friend. Or maybe it was because I'm such a horn-dog. But whatever the reason was, one thing was for sure, I wanted that girl. And bad.

I wouldn't say I was obsessed with her, I think it was because she had said no to me, more than once in fact. No one ever said no to me. I started to look at this as a challenge. I would wear her down, get my dick wet, then move on. But how was I going to make that happen? I had used all my best lines and moves that never let me down, the same spiel that always worked on all the bitches. But Bella would just laugh and say no.

This past summer was different though. I hadn't seen much of Bella for the first part of summer vacation. She had a boyfriend who lived on the reservation outside of town, people said. They had met at college or some shit like that.

Then my luck changed. They broke up a few weeks before summer ended. I figured, what the hell, so I tried to put the moves on her again. This time, I even got a kiss and it was amazing. And the looks she gave me after that—I knew she wanted me. But in the end, she still had said no. However, this time she would give me what I wanted. I just needed to figure out a way to make that happen, come up with a new plan of action. I had three day to do it in. Oh yes, this time she would be mine, at least for a few hours anyways.

When my plane finally landed, I was excited. I couldn't wait to see Bella. I had worked up a really good plan and was eager to put it to use.

After I made it to the baggage claim area, I looked around for her. Spotting her sitting on one of the benches, I stayed put and watched her for a few minutes. She was reading, probably one of those classic novels she always went on and on about. I only half-listened, but at least that was more than I ever did for any other girl.

As I stood there taking her in, my breathing picked up and my heart actually skipped a beat.

_What the fuck? That's never happened before. _

I was sure it was just the excitement of getting to start a new game.

When her head picked up and she saw me, she smiled. She was breath-taking.

_Huh?_ _Who said that?_

As she walked over to me, I noticed some slight changes in her figure. Her hips seem to have filled out into a more womanly shape and her face, even though she still had a glow of innocence about her, looked more…oh, I don't know, sexy perhaps? Wow, she looked good.

"Hello, Edward."

Fuck, even her voice was sexy.

"Bella."

She leaned in and gave me a kiss on the cheek. It felt nice, real nice. A part of my brain was saying this was gonna be easy, the other part was babbling like an idiot. I couldn't make out what it was saying except for the word "love".

_What the fuck?_

I told my brain to shut up. That word, love, not in my vocabulary.

"How are you?" I heard that sweet sexy one ask. "How was your flight?"

It took me a few second to answer her, because my brain wasn't working right.

"Oh, it was fine. I'm fine," I rushed out.

When she gave me a strange look, I willed myself to calm down. I closed my eyes and shook my head. There, that was better. When I opened my eyes back up, she was still looking at me, but had a strange smirk on her face.

"Are you okay, Edward?"

Hearing her say my name want straight to my cock because he twitched.

"Uh, yeah, just tired I guess," I lied.

"Okay. Well, ready to go then? We have a long drive and I would like to make it there before it gets too late."

"Yeah, sure, let me just get my bag," I turned to see if my luggage had come out of the chute yet, and grabbed it as soon as I saw it.

Bella said she had to get her stuff off the bench, so I followed her. I couldn't help the groan that escaped my lips when she bent over. I wasn't sure if she heard me.

"Are you sure you're okay?" She asked with that sexy smirk again.

_Fuck, she heard me. Play it cool man_.

'Um, yeah, I am… just a little hungry. Stomach's growling."

"Yeah, sure. We can stop on the way if you like. You know, for food."

I nodded. I would like to stop, but it's not food I want to eat. Bella just chuckled and smiled back at me. It seemed like she knew what I was thinking.

_Oh man, I hope I didn't say it out loud._

As I followed her to the parking garage, I took time to scold myself. What the fuck was my problem? I'm with the girl for less than two minutes and I'm acting like a lovesick fool. Get it together man. She's just another piece of ass.

When we stopped next to a dark blue SUV, I felt I was back to normal and decided to wait a while to start phase one of my plan. I looked around for her truck just as she opened the door.

"Finally decided to get rid of the red beast then, or did it just crap out?" I laughed.

Bella had an old Chevy pickup her father got for her when she turned sixteen. She used to hate it when we would make fun of it.

"Shut it, Cullen, or I'll make you walk home."

I chuckled as I walked to the back and lifted the backdoor to put my bags in. After I hopped into the front passenger seat, I just looked at her.

"What?" She huffed.

When I continued to just glare at her, she finally told me.

"Fine. Yes, she finally died. I was on my way home Thanksgiving weekend and she stopped halfway there, and wouldn't restart. My dad had to come and get me. Don't you laugh."

"I'm not," trying to hold it in, but failing miserably. "But what's with the big tank?" I asked when I felt I could speak again.

"Charlie, my dad, thought it would be safer for me to have a bigger vehicle. Something about having more protection room or what not. I really wasn't paying attention. I am glad he picked this one out. I really like driving it. Oh, and the looks I get when people see me, a tiny little thing, getting out of such a big vehicle," she laughed out the last part.

I turned my head to look in the backseat. Now, I have in fact been in the back of one of these, before so I know how much room there actually is. But I wonder if she does.

"Hum. It does look quite roomy. We definitely could have ourselves a good time back there."

I glanced at her only to be met with her signature bitch brow.

"Knock it off, Cullen. We have a long drive ahead of us and I don't want to have listen to you start your crap so soon."

"What?" I put an innocent look on my face.

She rolled her eyes and started the car.

"Did you want to stop and get food right now or wait?"

"Whenever is fine," I told her. I really wasn't hungry right now, well for food.

We drove for a bit, getting into an easy conversation. As long as it wasn't about sex, Bella was pretty talkative. We talked about school and grades. She asked how my engineering classes were going and if I was having trouble in my math classes. Of course, we both laughed at that. I was a genius when it came to math.

I asked her about her classes, and if she was still doing the English major thing. From the time Bella could read, she had always wanted to be a teacher.

After we had placed an order at a fast food place, I thought back over the friendship Bella and I had developed. Even though she was best friends with my sister, I considered her my friend. She was so easy to talk to and we did have fun together over the years. I think Bella was the only girl, other than my mom and sister, that knew the real me. Even in high school, she never acted or treated me like the other bitches. They all wanted a piece of me.

It wasn't until my junior year of high school that things changed. I found out about sex and began to live the life of a player. My friend Emmett showed me the ropes. We were quite the pair, had just about every girl in school between us and then some.

I did notice that during that time Bella started to distance herself from me. And we eventually stopped talking. Sure, we would hang out in the same group, but we never really spoke to each other. I never paid it too much mind, until now. Now I wondered why that happened.

Things changed again the summer she graduated from high school before she went off to college. Actually, I should say she changed. That sweet little girl had turned into a full blown hotty. And that's when I decided I had to have her.

That summer, we started talking again and hanging out together. Alice by then had a steady boyfriend, a guy named Jasper, and so having me back home made Bella feel like she wasn't such a third wheel anymore.

I had tried a few moves on her that summer. She would always blush and make light of it, saying nothing was going to happen between us. That was the first time she had said no to me. It continued that way during Christmas, spring and last summer vacations.

I wondered to myself briefly if it was always going to be like that. Would we be able to continue to be friends if we had sex? Because I really wanted to fuck her. I had never actually been friends with the girls I slept with. Did I want to have her as a friend after? Of course I did. She was a great person, and I enjoyed being with her. But the question I had going through my head right then was, was I willing to risk all that for just a piece of ass? If I was honest with myself, then no, I really wasn't. But that horny little perv in the back of my mind wanted to be inside of Bella badly. It's just sex, that part of my brain had told me.

I hadn't realized how warm it had gotten in the car until Bella had mentioned it and asked me to hold the wheel so she could take off her jacket. When she reached over to turn the heater down, I felt her breast against my arm. I looked down and noticed the shirt she had on, or more precisely how it was molded against her tits.

"Edward, look out!" she screamed.

I looked up to see I had swerved into the other lane and headlight closing in. I quickly corrected just in time.

"Jesus, Edward. Eyes on the road," she muttered as she took the wheel back.

"I'd rather look at your tits." Yep, I said it, and I meant it.

I could tell she rolled her eyes at me.

"I bet you do, perv," she chuckled.

And here was my moment. Just because I was starting to have second thought didn't mean I couldn't have some fun and see how far she was willing to take it this time.

"Damn straight. How about you lose the shirt as well? That way I would have a much better view."

"Keep dreaming."

I sighed trying to sound like I was pouting. She stuck her tongue out at me. That made me remember the time I had felt it against my own.

"Do you remember the first time we kissed, Bella?"

"I don't think shoving your tongue into someone's mouth while you're doing mouth to mouth resuscitation can be construed as kissing."

We were all down at the beach on day last summer; this was after she broke up with her boyfriend. Bella and I were trying to dunk each other, but because I was much bigger than her, she always ended up under the water. At one point, she had swallowed too much water and was having hard time breathing. I thought she was drowning and tried to do that mouth to mouth thing on her. But as soon as my mouth was on hers, somehow our tongues ended up together. It lasted less than a minute.

"Oh, come on, you were faking! You wanted me to kiss you. You enjoyed it as much as I did."

She turned to look at me, and from the lights of the dashboard, I could see her wiggling her eyebrows.

_Fucking-A! I knew it._

After a few moments of silence, I decided to pick it up again. I asked her the same question I had asked the last few times I had seen her: a question about her virginity. I only kept asking because I was a nosy fucker, and some part of me hoped the answer would never change. That is, until I helped change it. Yeah, I'm just that much of an asshole, I wanted to be her first. Possibly her last. Not _my_ last, of course, but I'm a guy. What do you expect?

"So Bella, tell me something."

"What do you want to know this time?"

"Are you still a virgin?"

_Yep that right, I'm an asshole. Can we say it together, A-S-S-H-O-L-E!_

"Excuse me?" She gasped.

"You heard me. Are you or aren't you?"

"Now why pray tell do you continue to ask me that? Why do you want to know, Edward?"

"Because I'm a nosy fuck."

"Well, it's none of your business."

"Oh, come on, you can tell me."

"NO."

"Please."

"NO."

This is how it would go until I pulled out the lip, the pouty lip that is. No one could resist its charm. Well, except for Bella. She had been onto that look at a young age and was immune to it most of the time. Didn't mean I still didn't try. She would sigh and I knew she would tell me.

"Don't pout. Besides, are you sure you want to know, Edward? You might not like the answer."

_UH-OH?_

I didn't like the sound of that. She had always said yes before, I hoped it wouldn't change now.

"Yes?" I wasn't sure if that came out a statement or a question.

"No, I'm not. Happy now, you nosy little fucker," she smirked at me.

_What? What did she just say?_

Now it was my turn to say excuse me.

"Excuse me? What did you just say?"

"You heard me."

Now she's throwing my words back at me. Suddenly, I felt the rage start to build.

_What the fuck?_

She was supposed to be mine. Who the fuck had touched her? I'd kill him. Whoa, hold on there, buddy. Since when do you care who a chick fucks? I don't but Bella is different, I told myself silently. _Why is that?_ Just because sheis. Because she's mine. _Yours? Where the fuck did that come from?_

Holy shit! I think I'm losing my mind. What the hell am I doing? She's just a girl I know. _No, she's not, you love her. _Fuck you, no I don't. _Yes, you do._ Shut up! I screamed at the annoying voice in my head and it did.

"Who was it, Bella?" I asked her as soon as I had control over my brain again.

"Why does it matter?" She had a valid point. Why did I want to know? Oh yeah, because I wanted to kill him.

_Yeah, Edward, why would that matter to you? You do it all the time. _That's different_. No it's not. _Shut up_. You shut up._

"Because it does." I wanted to know if she was with some guy now or was it a passing fling.

"Honestly, Edward, it's none of your business, but if it makes you feel better, I was in a relationship at the time. It wasn't some kind of one-night stand."

_Was_ in a relationship? Does that mean you're no longer together? Oh shit, I realized that I had said that out loud.

"Yes, we are no longer together," she chuckled.

We drove in silence for a while. I tried not to think about what was just said but I couldn't help it. I realized I was feeling something that had never happened to me before. I was jealous. But why? I didn't have feeling for her other than a friend.

_Bullshit, man. When are you gonna realize it? _

Okay, so yeah, I did, but it was only hormonal. I wanted her. Hell, if she'd already given it up, why wouldn't she fuck me, too?

_You're a real asshole, you know_. I smiled to myself. _Yes, I am_.

If you continue down this path, someone was going to get hurt. I finally figured out who was talking, my conscience. So I told him to shut up again. I wanted her and didn't need him to fuck this up, talking about feelings and shit. There couldn't be any of that shit involved.

"And a little FYI, honey, I'm fan-fucking-tastic in bed."

My mouth hit the floor. Well, not really, but close enough. I couldn't believe what she had just

said.

"Wha…what?"

She started laughing. When I gave her the what-the-fuck look, she just laughed even harder.

"Oh my god, Edward. You should have seen your face. Priceless." And she kept on laughing.

She had such a beautiful laugh. I always enjoyed hearing it. Sometimes I would purposely say something just to hear her laughing. But right now it was pissing me off.

"Why the hell would you tell me something like that, Bella? You can't say shit like that to me."

"Oh, please, like you weren't thinking about it."

"Um, actually I wasn't."

"Sure."

"I wasn't," I honestly said. I couldn't tell her what I was actually thinking about. She'd probably think I was nuts. However, now I was thinking about how she would be in bed or out of bed. What positions she liked. If she wanted me to lick her first, or just stroke her clit.

"Edward, you have been trying to get into my pants for a while now. How could you not wonder how I am in bed?"

"Now that you mention it, actually, I am curious," I figured since she brought it up I could go with it.

"I just told you."

"I don't know, am I just supposed to take your word for it?" I smirked.

"Of course, I was there, I know how it was." Nice comeback.

"Come on, Bella. I want to know," I wiggled my brows at her but I don't think she saw.

"So, what, you think that just because I've had sex now that I will sleep with just anyone?"

"I'm not just anyone, Bella. And I never said anything about sleeping."

"I'm not going to fuck you, Edward."

"Why not?" _Yeah, why not?_ "It's not like we're strangers."

"And you don't see a problem with that?"

"What's the problem? We're two consenting adults who want to enjoy each other. And you would definitely enjoy yourself."

"Pretty damn sure of yourself, aren't you, Edward?"

"Yes. Yes, I am. I guarantee you will never have any better than me." I was laying it on thick, but what can I say? I _am _that damn good, at least that's what I've been told.

"Geeez, Edward. How's a girl to refuse that?"

"They usually don't."

"Shut it, Cullen."

And that was her way of telling me to change the subject but I wasn't having any of it. I felt I finally got my foot in the door and I wasn't gonna back down now.

"No, Bella. I'm not gonna shut it. I want an answer."

"An answer to what?" She snickered.

"To my question."

"And what question was that?" Smart ass.

"Why won't you fuck me?"

"Edward, we're friends. It would be too weird."

"Uh, no it won't. Haven't you heard the saying friends with benefits? That could be us." I was grasping at straws now.

"Don't those kinds of people have regular hook-ups? And, besides, who ever said it would happen more than once?"

_Yes! The line has been baited, cast and has a nibble_.

"Well, I'll leave the more-than-once part up to you. I'm only concerned with the first time. So where do you want to do this?"

"Do what?" she asked with a confused look on her face.

"Fuck, of course. You know there's plenty of room back there," I said as I pointed my finger to the back.

"What are you talking about? I never said I would have sex with you."

"Hey, you where the one who was talking about more. I just figure we should at least do it once before we decide if we want more. But I'm pretty sure you'll want this again," this time I pointed my thumb at myself.

"You are so full of it."

"Oh, I just know how good I am. You know you want me, Bella. Don't deny yourself, baby."

"Oh god, you're a pig," she laughed.

_Almost got her. _

"Yeah, but you still want me."

"I never said that I didn't."

_Oh, did she just say that? Fuck yeah, she did. _

"So does that mean yes?"

_Please say yes. What the fuck, now I'm begging? Edward Cullen doesn't beg. _

I just hoped I didn't say that out loud. She seemed to be deep in thought now.

"Bella, it's not a hard question. Yes or no. What do you want?"

"Well, if I say yes, can you promise it won't mess up our friendship? You won't get all weird on me? 'Cause I have friends that have been through that shit, and it's not pretty."

She had a valid point again, but I'd agree to anything just to be able to get up in her pussy.

"Bella, we're adults here. If we don't let it be a problem, then it won't be."

I reached over to stroke her arm and she tensed up a little bit under the pressure. God, I feel the tension crackled, and I was so turned in that moment. But who exactly was I kidding? This just might ruin everything. Still, the reward was so sweet that I was willing to risk it.

"Beside, I dare you not to fall in love with me afterward."

_Christ, what are you now, four?_

"Oh, I don't think that will be a problem," she chuckled.

_Huh?_

"So, yes or no?" I wanted an answer.

"I can't believe I'm going to agree to this," she sighed. "But I guess you finally wore me down."

_YES!_

I gave myself a mental fist pump. I couldn't believe it was gonna happen. I was going to fuck Bella. _Why the hell are you acting so giddy?_ Giddy? Fuck you, only girls act giddy.

A few minutes later, Bella pulled over into a rest area. It looked deserted. I wondered why she had pulled over.

"Why are we stopping?"

"Don't you think it would be kind of hard to fuck while I'm driving?"

"What? You want to do it now?"

_Hello, what is wrong with you? Yes, now._

"Sure, why not?"

"Well, I just figured you'd want to… I don't know… do it, maybe, in a bed? I mean, it doesn't have to happen tonight."

I can't believe I said that. I had been waiting for so long and know I want to wait some more?

"But why not now, Edward? I don't think we're going to have a lot of time while were in Forks. Between my dad, your parents and our other friends, oh and of course, Alice probably has a shit load of stuff planned. We have time now, so let's just get it over with."

Just get it over with? Why did that make having sex with me sound so cheap?

Bella started to crawl over the center console and got in the back. I just sat there and watched her.

"Unless you've changed your mind," she called over her shoulder.

_What? No. Get it together man, she wants this too_.

"No, you just surprised me."

"Well, then get your ass back here and help me put the seats down."

I shook my head in disbelief; I really couldn't believe this was gonna happen. I thought for sure she would say no, because she always had in the past. I had been waiting for this moment, and now I was having second thought.

_Fuck that. Man up, bitch. It's just another piece of ass_.

It was Belle's ass, though, and part of me thought that made a difference.

_It's still a piece of ass, bitch. Shut it_.

This was not the time to be having a conversation with myself. I had a hot-as-hell girl waiting for me to rock her world and that is what I intended to do. I got out of the front, shut the door and climbed into the back with her. As soon as the second row seats were down and we had moved our luggage and other bags of to one side, she laid a blanket down and was kneeling on it. I crawled over and sat up against the back of the driver side seat.

As I sat there looking at her, I thought how beautiful she was. There was a faint streak of light from the lamps outside, so it wasn't completely dark. The way the light hit her, she was glowing, like an angel.

I reach out to her and cupped my hand around her face, stroking her cheek with the pad of my thumb. I always love touching her like that. She had very soft skin. She leaned into my touch and closed her eyes. So beautiful, I thought. A soft smile played on her lips and I wanted to taste them. I moved my hand further to the back of her head and gently pulled her forward closer to me.

Our faces where inches apart when she slowly slid her tongue out and wet her lips. I copied her before I placed my lips softly on her. It felt like heaven. Just a small, soft kiss at first. I pulled back to look at her, to make sure this is what she wanted. I didn't have to wait long for another kiss. And this time, Bella initiated the contact.

Lips upon lips, gently caressing. She sucked my bottom lip into her mouth; I felt her teeth give it a soft bite before her tongue caressed it. This continued for a few more minutes, both of us taking turns when finally our tongues met in the middle. Slowly tasting and stroking. She tasted just as I remembered, and I wanted more. I tilted my head to the side a bit and started to kiss her harder.

I felt her hands on the top of my thighs. Slowly, she moved them up, stopping briefly on my hips before giving them a light squeeze then moving up across my chest. When she passed across my nipples, it made me shudder. She finally found purchase in the back of my head when her little hands fisted into my hair, pulling me further into her.

I pulled my lips back a bit when I needed to breath, but they never left her skin. I kissed a path across her jaw to her ear, placing open mouth kisses up and down her neck, tasting her with the tip of my tongue. I sucked on her ear lobe, gently nibbling then caressing it with my tongue. Bella had started breathing harder and making little moaning sound which went straight to my cock.

I wasn't sure when it had happened, but at some point Bella had crawled up and was now straddling me. I could feel her heat even through her jeans as she started grinding against my straining cock. I let out a strangled moan, because that shit felt good.

Bella has also started kissing and sucking my neck and that just spurred me on further. I grabbed her hips and pulled her, forcing her down onto me, enjoying the friction it caused. I heard a gasp spill from her lips; I smiled against her neck, knowing I made her do that. I wanted to continue touching and kissing her just to hear the sounds she made.

Our lips found their way back to each other. This time it was more, more passion, more lust, just more. As we continued to kiss, I slowly moved my hands up across her abdomen until I was just under her breast. My thumbs traced along her bra until I needed to touch her more. I cupped her breast into my hands and gently squeezed them. As soon as my thumbs brushed across her covered nipples, I could feel them start to harden under my touch.

Bella pulled back with a hearty moan. She sat back for a moment, her chest heaving, and breathes coming in and out fast. Before I knew it she and pulled her shirt off and was now sitting on top of me in only her pants and bra.

_Fuck me! How perfect she was_.

As I reached out to touch her exposed skin, my hand started shaking.

_What the hell?_ I wasn't cold; in fact, I was very warm, hot even. I tried to steady my hand, but it was still shaking when I finally laid in on her chest right between her breasts. I could feel her heart beating fast under my touch. 

I looked up at her to make sure that she wanted me to continue. The look I was met with took my fucking breath away. I quickly took my hand off her, I was stunned. I could clearly see the lust and want but there was something else there in her eyes. I had never seen it before and it scared me. I had a sudden felling I needed to stop this before it went any further.

"I… I'm sorry… I can't do this, Bella," I blurted.

"Why? What's the matter?" Bella rushed out.

"I just can't do this. It's not right, this isn't right."

"Why? Did I do something wrong?"

I could see the panic in her face now. Fuck, she thought she did something wrong. I needed to fix this, and fast.

"No, Bella. No you didn't do anything wrong," I pled. "It's me. I can't do this. You deserve better than this."

And that was no lie. She did deserve better than a meaningless fuck in the backseat of a car. I can't believe I was actually going to stop. She sat there still on my lap. I could see her start to blink her eyes as she lowered her face. Oh god, was she going to cry. Fuck, not what I wanted to happen. I felt bad. But why? I placed a finger under her chin and pulled her face up.

"Bella, what's wrong?"

She turned her face to the side and quickly brushed the back side of her hand across her eyes. When she looked back at me she a put on a fake smile.

"Nothing wrong. I'm fine," she whispered as she started to get off my lap.

I had a sudden urge to pull her back to me and hold her, but I wasn't sure if that was a good idea. I wasn't sure what the right thing to do was. I was confused. This has never happened before, and that also confused the hell out of me.

I watched as she put her shirt back on and then climb back over into the driver's seat.

"It's okay, Edward, really."

I didn't know what to say. I followed suit and tried to climb back to the front. My foot got stuck for a second and I fell forward head-first into my seat. I heard Bella laughing and that made me feel a little better. At least she wasn't too upset anymore.

Once I finally made it back to my seat in one piece, I looked over at Bella. She was staring out the window.

"Look, Edward," she said in just above a whisper. "It started snowing. Looks like it might be a white Christmas this year after all."

I followed her gaze and saw the flakes slowly falling down from the sky. It must have just started, because there wasn't much coverage on the ground yet.

"Did you want me to drive? We still have at least an hour left, you must be tired." I offered to drive partly, because I thought she could use the break and also, because if I had to sit here with nothing to do, I was bound to think about what had just happened and I really didn't want to right now.

It was three days before Christmas, and there had been a big storm that had passed through during night. When I woke up that morning and looked out the window, I could see everything was covered in a thick blanket of snow. Bella had been right about a white Christmas.

I sighed at the thought of her name. I hadn't seen her since she dropped me off two nights ago. I tried not to think of her, but that was all I did. When I took over driving that night, I couldn't help but think of her and what had at transpired between us. And even two days later, she was still stuck in my head. After what didn't happen, I figured we would be better off just being friends. I had decided to stop playing my game on her, because it wouldn't be worth it to lose my friend. But damn it if I didn't miss her. I had spent the past few days moping, at least that's what mom and Alice told me.

_What the hell, I don't mope_.

Maybe it was because I was stuck in the house. Maybe it was because mom had me doing all sorts of shit around the house to get it ready for Christmas. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I would go to sleep at night and dream about Bella. Most of my waking moments were filled with thought of Bella and I couldn't figure out why she was getting to me. No one had ever gotten to me like that.

She had sent me a text yesterday, wanting to make sure things were cool between us. I had told her it was, but I had a feeling things would never be the same.

Alice announced at breakfast this morning she had planned for us to go sledding that afternoon, but I didn't feel like going. When she mentioned Bella was going too, however, I got excited and perked up really quick. I tried to regain my composure quickly but Alice picked up on my excitement and gave me strange look.

"What?" I asked her trying to stifle the grin that was on my face.

"Why the sudden mood change? You can't be that excited to go sledding." She stopped and eyeballed me for a moment. "Hmmm, perhaps it's because a certain someone will be there."

"Shut up, Alice," I mumbled and looked back down at my plate to finish my food.

As soon as my parents left the table, Alice started in on me.

"So, is there something going on with you and Bella?"

"No," I lied. "Why would you ask that? We're just friends."

"Well, ever since she dropped you off the other night, you've been acting strange, or at least more so than usual. So what happened between you two?"

"Nothing Alice," I said looking away from her.

"Edward, you know I can always tell when you're lying." She was right about that, she had a knack for it, always bugged the shit out of me. I could never pull a fast one on my sister, but I was sure gonna try now.

"I'm not lying."

"You might as well tell me now, because you know I'm going to bug you until you do."

I was starting to get irritated with her now.

"Just drop it," I said getting out of my chair to make a fast getaway but I was stopped dead in my tracks by what she said next.

"Just so you know, bro, I talked with Bella already."

I turned and glared at her. No, Bella wouldn't have said anything to Alice. But damn if I didn't play right into her hands with my reaction to her comment.

"Ha, see… I knew it! She said something happened but wouldn't tell me what. So fill me in, what happened between you two?"

My mom happened to enter the room at that moment.

"What happened? What's going on?" she asked. But before I could say anything, Alice the busybody spoke up.

"That what I'm trying to get Edward to tell me."

Mom looked over at me with concern in her eyes. "What's the matter, honey?"

I huffed. Great, just what I needed. Someone else putting their nose in my business.

"Nothing is the matter, Mom. Expect maybe your nosy daughter. Please tell her to leave me alone."

"Hey, I'm not nosy, I just want to help," Alice piped in.

"Help with what?" mom asked.

"Edwards's little problem."

"Jesus, Alice! Go to hell! I don't have problem. Nothing's wrong, just drop it okay," I blurted out and then turn and stormed out of the room, not stopping until I reached my bedroom.

I slammed my door shut and lay down on my bed. Oh my god. What the hell was going on here? Why was I so upset?

A few minutes later, there was knock on my door, and my mom poked her head in.

"Edward, are you okay?" She asked as she made her way over and sat at the edge of my bed.

"I'm fine, Mom. It's just Alice doesn't know when to quit."

"I know, honey. She means well, so try not to let it get to you."

I nodded. Mom always had a way of making me feel better.

"So, can I ask you something?" she asked. I had a feeling what she might say but I let her ask anyways.

"Go ahead."

"Well, Alice mentioned to me after you left the table that there was a problem between you and Bella. Is there something that I can help you with?"

"No, Mom. There's no problem," I sighed.

"Edward," she started, but I cut her off.

"I appreciate you wanting to help, Mom, but there's nothing wrong." I lied again.

"Okay, if you say so. Just know I'm here if you need me."

"Thanks, Mom."

As she started to go out the door, she turned back to me.

"You know, I have always thought Bella was such a wonderful girl. I wonder from time to time why the two of you have never gotten together. Because, I have to tell you, son, that I think the hold-up is you, not her."

Before I could say something back, she walked out and shut my door. Suddenly, I was thinking the same thing. But why?

That afternoon Alice, Jasper and I had drove out to the hills where we would go sledding. The roads had been plowed, but we still ended up taking my dad's Ford F350. I didn't feel like having to push one of our cars out if it got stuck. After we got there and pulled the stuff out of the bed, Bella pulled up. There were chains on her tires. I laughed because I knew her father must have put then on without her knowing. When she asked why I was laughing, I pointed to the chains. She looked at them for a while before saying, "Yep, that's my father for you."

I was hoping that this wouldn't be awkward with her today, and so far it hadn't been. We all ended up having a good time, taking turns sliding down the hill, laughing when someone biffed it. An hour or so later, Alice mentioned that she had brought some hot cocoa, and we all agreed to take a break to warm up a bit.

We piled into the cab of the truck and I turned it on to get the heater started, while Alice and Bella poured out the liquid chocolate. Jasper pulled a paper bag from under the seat and brought out a bottle of Bailey's then proceeded to pour some into each cup.

"Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker," he chuckled.

We continued to talk and joke with one another. Things with Bella and I had seemed to be fine. Until I noticed that there was something about her that was off while we were sitting in the truck. She tried to hide it, but I could tell it was there in the expressions on her face when she would look at me. It wasn't the same. Something was different, a little bit sad perhaps. I wondered why. When we got back out to the snow, I tried to slow us down, leaving some space between us and Alice and Jasper. I wanted to ask her what was going on, but I never got the chance.

A battered old truck, barely still in one piece, pulled up next to my dad's fancy new truck. Bella turned to look at it and got a big smile on her face.

"I don't believe it!" she screeched and started running towards the truck, leaving me where I stood.

When the doors opened, I saw three big dudes get out. They were all bundled up in snow jackets like we were, but I could still tell that they were huge beyond all the padding. I didn't recognize any of them, but Bella seemed to.

"Bella!" one of the guys called out. She ran up to him. I watched as he picked her up and spun her around.

My hands tightened into fists in my gloves and I could feel myself getting upset watching the scene before me.

_What the fuck? That's _my_ girl. _

What? No, she's not._ But you want her to be. _No. Wait, maybe. Hell, I don't know_._

"Jake, put me down," she laughed out. "Hey Quil, Embry. How's it going? What are you guys doing here?"

"We stopped by your house to see if you wanted to hang out, maybe head out to the res," the one she called Jake said. "The annual Christmas festival is going on. Charlie said you were down here with your friends so we thought we would swing by and join the fun before we head back."

"Oh, cool. Sure you can join us, there's plenty of snow," she told them, sounding more excited then she had been all day. That really pissed me off.

Who were these guys and why were they making Bella so happy just by showing up? And why did the name Jake sound so familiar? Bella brought the guys over to where the rest of us were standing.

"Jake, so nice to see you again. It's been awhile," Alice said as she gave the guy Jake a hug.

Okay, so my sister knew him. That made it a little bit better. Still didn't mean I had to like him.

"Nice to see you to, Alice. Hey Jasper. How you doing?"

"Not too bad, Jake. And you?" Jasper asked him while shaking his hand.

So Jasper knew him too. It seemed they all knew each other except for me. I would have to ask him who they were.

"Edward, this is Jake, Embry and Quil," Alice said. "Guys, this is my brother, Edward."

"Hey," I said giving a head nod. I didn't feel like shaking hands with them. It was enough for me not to go off on the guy for putting his hands of Bella.

After the introductions were made, we all headed back to the sleds. I trailed behind at a slower pace. Jasper stayed with me.

"Hey man, what's going on?" he asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You look pissed off."

"How do you them?" I asked.

"Oh, um, well maybe you should ask Bella."

Now I was very curious. I stopped walking and turned to him.

"I'm asking you. Who are they?"

"Aw, hell, man. Jake and Bella used to date. The other two are friends of his," Jasper admitted.

"What the fuck did you just say?" I growled at him. Oh hell no. He's the one; he's the one that fucked my Bella. I'm gonna kill him.

"Whoa, man, don't kill the messenger. Look, it's been over for a long time. Don't go all postal."

Jasper and I had been friends since high school. And if it were anyone else than him talking to me like that I would have had my fist in their face. As it was, I had to take a deep breath to try to control the rage that had been building up.

"I promise that I'm not gonna do anything," I said, at least hoping that was somewhat true, but sure completely. "I just can't believe she would be with someone like that."

The truth was, I couldn't see her with anyone that wasn't me. Oh no, here I go again. What that fuck was wrong with me?

"Well, did you expect her to wait forever for you to get your head out of your ass?"

_What?_

"What? What are you talking about?" He was confusing me. "What the hell would she be waiting for?"

"Dude, I can't believe you are so blind."

"Excuse me?"

"Look, Edward, I'm promised not to say anything but I will tell you this. Either tell her that you love her, or let her go."

I shook my head to try and clear it. I couldn't have heard that right.

"What did you say?"

"You heard me. Figure it out soon, before it too late."

"Too late for what?"

"Before she's gone, Edward."

He walked away, leaving me still feeling confused as fuck.

_Why the hell would he say that? Why would I tell her I loved her? And what did he mean by too late?_

I didn't know how long I stood back and watch the rest of them having fun. I felt like my day had been turned upside down. I mean we were all having a good time before HE showed up. I didn't say anything to him directly. I glared at him, however, when he wasn't looking my way, and he had his eyes on my girl.

Will you stop saying that? She's not my girl. _You know you want her to be_. No, it's not like that between us, we're just friends. You keep telling yourself that while she runs off with him again. Why do I care what she does? _Because you do, you love her and the sooner you accept that the better off we'll all be._

No, I couldn't be in love with her. Edward Cullen doesn't "do" love.

I watched as Bella and Jake sat together on one of the sleds. He was behind her and had wrapped his claws around her. I watched them move down the hill. Bella threw her head back, laughing. It had only been a short time ago that was us. I wanted her to laugh with me again. I wanted to feel her in my arms again.

I watched as he helped her up after she fell in the thick snow. I watched as he put his hand on her waist. I watched as he placed his hand across her cheek. I watched as he slowly leaned his head down to hers.

He was going to kiss her. _I don't fucking think so, buddy. She's mine_. Yes, I said it, happy now?

"Bella!" I shouted out to her. She wasn't that close, but I knew she heard me when her head turned towards my direction while she took a step back from him.

When Jake looked my way, I could tell that he was pissed. Too bad fucker, you will never get your hands on her again.

I started walking towards them. My hands clenched in a fist. I was ready for a fight if that's what he wanted. Bella must have noticed the expression that was on my face. She hurried up to me before I could reach him.

"Edward, what are you doing?" She had placed her hand on the front of my jacket.

"Nothing, Bella, I just wanted to have a talk with your pal." I lied as I smiled. "Now please get out of my way."

I was so ready to kill the son of a bitch; he had put his hand on what was mine.

"Why?" she asked pulling me back. "Just stop walking and talk to me."

"Bella, he put his hands on you. He was going to kiss you," I hissed through my teeth.

"So? What does it matter to you? You told me no." Now she sounded mad.

"It matters… it matters… just because it does," I looked down at her, hoping she would see that it did. That she mattered to me.

"Well, what if I wanted him to kiss me?" She had placed her hands on her hip. "Have you thought about that, Mr. Hothead?"

Oh yeah, she was mad now, that's what she did when she was mad. But why would she be mad at me. I knew then that he was the one, the one that had taken away my Bella's innocence.

"He's the one, isn't he?" I demanded.

"What are you talking about, Edward?"

I looked over her head and could see Jake coming towards us, but I didn't care.

"You fucked him," it was more of a statement than a question.

"Keep your voice down, please," she said, looking around. It seemed she didn't want anyone else to hear what we were saying.

Jake had arrived at the moment, and was looking back and forth between Bella and me. Then his eyes widen like he realized something. Yeah, realized he was interrupting.

"Is he the one, Bella?" he asked her. Curiously, it sounded a lot like what I had just wanted to know, but he was actually asking a question and not demanding the information of Bella.

"Jake, please. This isn't the time."

Isn't the time for what? And what was he asking about? The one what? I wanted to know if he was the one, but she still hadn't answered me yet.

"Bella," I hissed. "Tell me."

As I look over at him, I could feel the tension rolling off the both of us. My fingers twitched in anticipation.

"Edward, please just drop it," she pled with me.

"Bella, what the hell is going on? Why won't you answer me? Is he the one?" Jake asked her again while he reached out and grabbed Bella's arm, pulling her towards him.

What the hell was going on was right. Who the hell did he think he was to put his hands on her again?

"Let go of her," I growled.

Bella looked back at me and could see how angry I was.

"It's okay, Edward," she tried to say calmly, and then turned back to him. "Jake, just go. I'll talk to you later."

"Bella," he tried to say more, but she cut him off.

"Jake, please just go."

He said fine and then stalked off. We stood there and watched the three of them get into their truck and leave.

"What the fuck is your problem, Edward?" Bella turned at slapped me across the chest.

"What the hell, Bella? He had his hands all over you. Why didn't you stop him?"

"Excuse me? What gives you the right to question me? You're not my mother," she spat out.

"I know that but…" I tried to say.

"You can't do that, Edward."

"Do what?" What was she talking about?

"You can't act like you care. And get all jealous when there's someone else paying attention to me. You can't do that. It's wrong, and you know it. You have to let me live my own life."

"I'm not jealous." I'm pretty sure I just lied again. I was jealous but I couldn't tell her that. I couldn't even admit it to myself until now. But I still wasn't sure why.

"The hell you're not. Just stop, okay. You have no right. You didn't want me. You're the one who said no. So it's not fair for you to do this to me. To act like I'm yours… when I'm not." She then turned to run away from me.

It took a moment for it to sink in. She thought I didn't want her but I did. I do. I want her. Now.

Suddenly, everything fell into place and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I wanted Bella more for than just a friend, but was I in love with her? I think I was.

_Oh my god, you stupid idiot. Of course you are. _

Yes, I was. I was in love with Bella. While I thought about this, I realized I had been in love with her for a while now but would never admit it. It had been easier to just think it was a physical attraction. I was a fool to let all that time go by and I was going to rectify it now.

But the question now was how she felt about me. I had to know. So I ran after her.

By the time I caught up with Bella, she had just past the tree line of the forest and was leaning against one with her face buried in her hand.

"Bella," I called out to her.

"Just leave me alone," she cried out.

I had made her cry, and now I felt like shit. I walked up to her and place a hand on her shoulder. She flinched but didn't move.

"Bella, talk to me. Please," I pled with her. I need to know what was going on. But I didn't expect her to say what she did.

"Last summer, Jake asked me to marry him."

"Oh," was all I could say. I had no idea it was that serious between them.

"That's why I ended things with him," she continued.

_Huh?_

"You broke up with him because he asked you to marry him? Why?" And the nosy fucker was back.

She turned around to face me. I could see the tears rolling down her face. I reached out to wipe them away but she swatted my hand away.

"Because I couldn't be with him when I was in love with someone else."

What? She loved someone else? I could feel the jealousy boiling up again. Who was it? Who did she love? Did she still love him? Did I want to know?

Before I could stop it, the words were out of my mouth.

"And are you still in love with this someone else?"

She sighed and took a deep breath.

"Yes, but it doesn't matter."

"Why wouldn't it matter?"

"Because he doesn't want me," she said with a sob.

Who in their right mind wouldn't want this beautiful woman? She was kind and generous and perfect. Did I just say that? _Yes, you did_.

"Well, then he's a damn fool if he doesn't want you" I said. "Who is he? Want me to knock some sense into his thick skull?"

Why the hell would I want to know? I just realized I was in love with her and then she tells me she in love with someone else. I was too late, just like Jasper said.

"Jesus, Edward," she exclaimed throwing her arms up in the air. "Are you that blind _and _stupid?"

"What are you talking about?" I had no idea what she was saying.

"Oh, just forget it," she huffed and started to walk away from me.

I reached out my hand and grabbed her arm to stop her.

"No, I won't forget it, Bella. Who the hell are you in love with?"

"You, Edward! You, you moron!" she shouted at me, sobbing the words as she did. "I love you. It's always been you. Now leave me alone."

I didn't know what to say. She loved me. How could I have not known this?

I lifted my hand to place it on her cheek just like I had done the other night, but this time I wasn't letting her go. I notice I still had my gloves on, so I quickly took them off. Her face was cool, and when I stroked her cheek with my thumb, I made my own confession while looking in her eyes.

"Bella, I love you, too. Yes, I was blind and stupid to not realize it a long time ago. But I do now. I'm in love with you."

I pulled her into a kiss. We were just a picture on some stupid, sentimental postcard right then, probably, but I didn't care. I finally had Bella. She was mine.

The next few days where busy ones, with last-minute shopping trips. Had to go to the grocery store for mom and then I had to make a trip to the hardware store. A few of the outside Christmas light had burned out. Seems dad plugged too many into one outlet. Mom was quite upset, but as soon as I got back with new ones, fancy LED lights, she was much happier.

Alice and I made a trip up to Port Angeles for some last-minute gifts. I wanted to get something else for Bella, something that would show her how much I loved her. As we walked the mall, I spotted a necklace in the window of a jewelry store. The chain was gold and had a solid heart pendent with a diamond in the middle. I showed Alice and she thought it was perfect.

On the afternoon of Christmas Eve, Bella and I went out on a date. I wanted to do something special. While I was in Port Angeles the day before, I had spotted a sign saying there was going to be a festival and parade the next day. I thought that was something Bella would like to do.

We walked around down town looking at all the decorations and checking out the festivities. We had a late lunch at a nice little Italian place. We skipped the parade; Bella said it was getting to cold for her so we decided to go see a movie instead.

I couldn't tell you what we saw because as soon as the lights where dim we ended up making out through the whole movie. I think we were both glad there were only a few other people in the theater with us and that we were sitting way in the back corner. We made out so hard, I wasn't able to hold it all in. The worst part was having to walk to the bathroom so I could clean myself up. It had been awhile since I had come in my pants.

"So, what's going to happen after the holidays, when we go back to school?" She asked me on the way home.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I'll be back in Seattle and you'll be in California. How are we going to make this work? Most long distance relationships don't work out," she said sounding concerned.

"Bella, were not most people. We will make it work," I tried to console her. "I know I've never been in a relationship but I love you and will do whatever it takes to make this work. We'll figure it out, so please don't worry."

"I'm trying not to but it's hard," she confessed. "I finally got you and now we are going to be separated until god knows when."

"It'll be okay. I know it will," I believed. "Trust me."

After all the time I wasted by not excepting my feeling for her years ago, now that I had her I was not going to let anything stand in our way.

"I will, I do," she admitted.

We drove in silence for a little while longer then she spoke again.

"Well, I suppose if we're going to start trusting each other, then there's something I need to tell you."

"Oh, okay. What is it?" I had no clue what she wanted to tell me, in fact I was a little nervous to hear what she had to say.

"Um, I lied."

"About what?" What the hell could she have lied about? I tried to think of anything that she could have lied about, so when she told me what it was I was half mad and half pleased.

"I've never had sex before," she whispered.

It was still loud enough that I could hear, but I could tell she was embarrassed. I had to take a deep breath so I wouldn't yell. Why would she tell she had and then try to fuck me? Didn't she realize that I could have hurt her?

"Bella, why would you tell me you had? Just think about what happened the other night, I mean, god, Bella. What if I didn't stop, I could have really hurt you."

"I hadn't thought of that," she said shyly.

"I got a question for you. Why after all this time, why did you finally say yes to me?" I wondered now. "After all the teasing and shit for the last few years you said yes. Why?"

"Honestly, I wasn't sure if I would ever get the chance to be with you. Look I know how you are or where. I have been in love with you for a long time and I decided if all you could give me was one night then I was willing to take what I could."

"So what would have happened if we did fuck that night? What would you have done?"

"I was prepared to walk away. I was done waiting for you to notice me, to love me back. That was my last shot. I had always wanted you to be my first, Edward. Even though you didn't love me, I had enough for both of us."

"So, you had planned on fucking me, then leaving? Ouch that hurts," I wasn't sure why. _Yes you do, because you know if you had slept with her that night, you wouldn't have let her go_.

"I'm sorry, Edward, I don't mean to hurt you. That's the last thing I would ever want to do. I love you."

"I know you would never hurt me on purpose," I knew that was true. "However, I'm glad that we didn't have sex that night because I didn't know then what I know now and that is I love you. So when we do have sex for the first time, it will mean something much more."

I can't believe I just said that, I finally fall in love with a girl and I turn out to be a pussy. Oh well. Love, it makes fools of us. What ya going to do?

When we got back to her place, we sat in the car for a little while, making out again. It was late and we both had to get up early for Christmas morning, but I didn't want to let her go. I wouldn't be able to see her again until the next evening when she and Charlie came over for dinner. With a promise to call in the morning, we said our goodnights with a final kiss. I could kiss that girl forever.

Morning came and went with presents and breakfast, and of course, a call from Bella. By the afternoon, my family and I were ready for a nap. When I got to my room, I called Bella. I tried to get her to come over to take a nap with me, but she was busy trying to finish some pies she was planning on bringing over later. I did get her to promise to a sleep-over that night, however.

_Perv. Horn-dog. Perv_. Yes. Yes, I am.

The evening went well, and after everyone had had their fill of food and drinks, they started to leave. I was happy when Charlie decided it was time for him to go. He had pulled me aside earlier in the evening and given me a lecture.

"Don't you hurt her, boy. You know I can hide the body where no one will ever find it," he had said to me. And I knew that was no lie.

I asked Bella if she was ready to go upstairs after my parents had finally said good- night and made it to their room. I was glad that their room was on the other side of the house, because I hoped we were going to make some noise that night.

We had exchanged gifts earlier, but I had wanted to give her the necklace in private. I had giving her a USC sweatshirt and hat that I had picked up before I left campus. When I had gotten them for her, they were supposed to be a gag gift, because she goes to UW. But now it was so that they would remind her of me while I was away. Bella had gotten me tickets to see my favorite band out in California where they would be playing in a few months.

"This is also your Christmas present," I said, handing her the flat box after she sat down on my bed next to me.

"Edward, you shouldn't have," she exclaimed as soon as she opened the box. 'It's beautiful."

"Bella, you have my heart now. Please take care of it."

"I promise," she reached up and placed her hand on my chest over my heart while grabbing my hand with her other one and placing in over hear heart. "As you have mine, my love."

While Bella was in the bathroom getting ready for bed, I turned the TV on to see if there were any Christmas shows still on. Bella like to watch the old ones, so I was happy to see _It's a Wonderful Life_ was on.

I tuned the volume down enough that we could still hear it, but just barely, and then turned the lights off. I had just started to fluff the pillow when she came out of the bathroom.

My breath caught in my throat when I saw what she had on. A silky white robe that went down to just above her knees. With her brown hair flowing around her shoulder, and the light reflecting from the bathroom making a halo around her head, she looked like an angel. It took my breath way.

"Wow, you look beautiful my angel," and she did.

I could see her lips tuned up in to a smile as I said that. After turning the bathroom light off, she slowly walked over to me. I had sat down on the bed with my feet still on the floor and she stood between my knees. As I looked up at her I could tell she was nervous about something. I took her hands in mine.

"What's wrong, babe?"

"Nothing is wrong," she whispered. "I, uh, I just, uh wanted to uh, I had another, ummm… present for you."

"Oh, okay but you've already giving me so much already," I said and she had. She loved me and that was enough for a lifetime's worth of presents.

"Well, I wanted, to, uh, um, well… this is, ummm really for both of us. That is if you want to, I… uhhh, I mean if you want it."

Hmmm, she was starting to freak me out with all this hemming and hawing. What was the deal?

"Bella what's going on?"

She looked me in the eyes, took a deep breath and then slowly untied her robe. When she took it off, she was naked, standing in front of me. I had never seen a more beautiful sight.

"Bella, you are so beautiful," I started and I couldn't believe what I was going to say next. "But what are you doing?"

"Edward, I want you to make love to me," she said in a determined voice.

_What? Oh hot damn!_

I may be in love with the girl, but I'm still a guy after all. Fuck, I needed to make sure that we weren't rushing it to in. But damn did I want her.

"Bella, are you sure about this? I mean, I would love nothing more than to make love to you, right here and now, but don't you think it's still a little too soon? Do you think that you are ready? It's going to hurt a bit. Maybe we can just cuddle for a bit?"

The pervy little boy in my head was kicking my ass right now.

"I love you, Edward and I know you love me. I have been waiting for this moment for so long, that I really don't want to wait any longer. Please, make love to me."

"If you're sure…" I hemmed. Now the little boy was pumping his fists.

"Yes, I'm sure." Then she leaned down and kissed me.

What started as a small kiss quickly turned heated when she plunged her tongue into my mouth. Not that I had a problem against that. In fact, I like a girl to take charge once in a while, but this was her first time and my first time making love to someone. I so badly wanted to throw her down on my bed and plunge into her, but I couldn't. I wouldn't do that, at least not this time. I had to slow this down so she wouldn't get hurt.

I gently pushed her back away from me. She looked sad, like she thought I was having second thoughts. I knew I needed to set the record straight.

"No, it's fine, baby. I want you so bad. We just need to slow this down a bit."

"Oh," she said shyly.

I got off the bed and turned to pull the covers down. I mouthed a thank you to whomever had put the dark sheets on my bed. I knew that Bella might bleed and if she saw it she would probably freak.

I turned back to her and held my hand out to her. As soon as she placed her hand into mine, I gently pulled her to me. Before she had come out of the bathroom, I had changed into my pajama bottoms, but hadn't put my shirt on, so now I was standing here with Bella's bare chest up against mine. Damn, it felt good.

She started breathing a little heavier making her breast heave and I could feel her nipples rub against my chest, slowly hardening. I couldn't wait to have them in my mouth. Ever since that night in the back of her SUV, when I had caught my first glimpse of them through her colored bra, I couldn't get that picture out of my head. And now, there she was in all her glory, and they were even better then I imagined.

I reached my other hand up to hold the side of her face as I bent my head to place a soft kiss on her lips. I licked my lips before I touched her. I heard a slight moan escape her lips. I continued to place soft kisses across her lips, then down across her jaw to her neck. She had tilted her head back to give me more access.

As I kissed up and down and across her collarbone and back up to her lips again, I felt her hands move across my back and up into the back of my hair where she started to run her fingers through it. I loved how it felt and moaned in accordance.

I had moved my left hand from her face and was slowly moving down her body, feeling the curve of her shoulder, the outline of her rib cage. My thumb gently rubbed against the outside of her breast on the way down. I made my way slowly down to her waist to rest on top of her hip, and moved it around to her back side just stopping at the curve above her ass. I pulled her closer into me and could feel my erection rub against her lower stomach.

I'm sure she could feel it too, and when she shoved back against me with another low moan, I knew she could. I needed her in my bed, right then. So I wrapped my other arm around her and picked her up. I gently laid her out on to my bed and stood there for a moment just to take in the sight before me.

"Fucking beautiful."

Just as I was about to lie down next to her, she spoke.

"Edward, I think you have too many clothes on."

Huh? Oh, yeah. I still had my pj's on. I quickly took them off and I heard her breath hitch when my cock made his appearance. I smiled to myself knowing I had that kind of reaction to her.

As I made my way on the bed she started to pulled cover up, covering herself. I reached out to stop her.

"Please don't, I want to see you."

I lay down on my side next to her leaning on my elbow and placed my head on my hand. I gazed at her, looking up and down taking in her form. She had such perfect breast with little pink nipples, her little belly button in the middle of her smooth stomach. All leading towards her sex. The little mound of hair she had was dark, just like the hair on the top of her head. I wondered if it's just as soft, but I would have to wait a little bit longer to find out.

I took my hand and gently touched her neck just above her collarbone and traced across it from shoulder to shoulder slowly. I gently traced the vain on her neck up to her jaw. I brought my finger up to her lips where she kissed it.

I leaned and replaced it with my lips. No tongue just lips, feeling the softness of her. All too soon, I wanted more, needed more. I traced her lips with the tip of my tongue, causing her to open her mouth to let out a throaty moan. I slipped mine into her mouth, sliding it across her. Tasting and sucking. Eliciting another moan from her. I trailed down the side of her neck again over to her ear.

"I love the sounds I cause you to make," I whispered into her ear. Her breath hitched again which in turn cause a moan to escape from me. This woman was turning me on something fierce. I didn't know how long I could hold off.

I pulled my head back to so I could watch as my hand travel down her body. I wanted to see what I was touching, see her reaction to my touch. I trailed my fingertips between her breasts and saw her breathing pick up; her chest was rising and falling quicker with each pass.

As my fingertips passed across one of her nipples, she threw her head back and gasped.

"Do you like that?" I asked with a smile, knowing what her answer would be.

"Yes, Edward," she panted.

"I wonder what will happen when I do this," I said making my way over to take one into my mouth. As I flicked her nipple with my tongue, I wasn't disappointed.

"Oh, god, Edward," she moaned.

I continued sucking and flicking her nipple until it was rock hard then switched and did the same to the other one. Bella didn't let me down. The sounds coming out of her mouth were having quite the effect of me.

I continued to move my hand down further caressing her stomach, my mouth trailing behind my hands. I could feel myself trembling as I did this. I knew why. I was nervous. I had never "made love" let alone been in love with someone before. This was all new to me and I wanted it to be perfect for her, because I loved her.

I kissed and licked her belly, gently following the curves of her body along her hip down her leg to her knee. First watching my hand make its way down her body, then I kissed down the same path and back up her other leg, stopping at her hip.

I could smell her excitement and I wanted to taste it. So bad, my mouth was watering with anticipation. As I brought my hand down to cup her sex, I looked up at her face. She had her eyes closed and was breathing a lot faster now. I needed her approval before I continued.

Before it never matter. I had never cared, but with Bella, it was different. All of this was different.

"Bella." When she opened her eyes and saw where I was, a slight look of fright appeared on her face. "Can I taste you, please?' I pleaded.

"Oh god, Edward. Yes, please." She gushed out.

She didn't need to tell me twice. With my hand still covering her, I began to rub gently up and down, slowly feeling her wetness seep through. Pushing one finger between her folds so I could get it wet, I pulled back until I found her clit. I heard her gasp as I did this, and knew I found the right spot.

I continued to rub her nub with my finger as I began to places open mouth kisses across her hip bone, then made my way further down her leg until I was face to face with my new happy spot. Her scent was overwhelming. I had never smelt anything as intoxicating, and I had to taste her. And so I did. I slowly licked her folds, tasting her sweetness. I heard a loud moan, and I vaguely wondered where it came from before I realized it was coming from me.

I slowly opened her up with my fingers and continued to feast on her juices. I could hear her moaning harder now and her breath coming faster.

"Do you like this, Bella?"

It took her a few seconds to answer me.

"Fuck yes, Edward. It feels so good."

I smiled against her and continued exploring her nether region with gusto. I traced her opening with my tongue, wanting to push my tongue inside of her, to feel her. I slowly pushed my way in. Hearing her gasp, I knew no one had ever touched her like this. The little perv in my head was jumping up and down for joy. This was mine; no one was ever going to touch her like this.

"Oh, Edward, I… so close…" she panted as her hips started to buck against my face.

I brought my finger back up to her clit to give her some more stimulation while my tongue continued to lap up everything she gave me. It only took a few more strokes before I felt her start to tense up.

"Edward," she moaned loudly as she came.

As I watched her come, I thought she looked so beautiful. It took a few moments for her breathing to calm down. When it did, I crawled back up her body and looked down at her face. I had a smile on my face as she opened her eyes.

"Edward, that was unbelievable, thank you," she whispered.

"You're welcome, my love," I said then wiggled my brows, "but I'm just getting started."

Her eyes got bigger, and I think her face just flushed a deeper shade of red it that was possible. Her entire body was blushed in the afterglow of her orgasm.

I reached over and grabbed a condom out of my nightstand. Sitting back on my knees, I slipped it over my cock. I noticed that she had been watching me do this.

"See something you like?" I joked.

She just rolled her eyes at me.

"Oh, you will pay for that," I retorted. I then leaned back down over her and attached her lips with mine. She gave as good as she got. Our tongues battled, tasting, sucking and sliding across each other. When we needed to breath, I followed my same path down her neck again and nibbling on her ear. I heard her breathing pick up again and the little moans she was making. I knew she was almost ready for part two, but I knew I needed to help her a little more.

I brought my hand back down between us and found her wet again. I slowly traced her clit a few times before I moved it down to her opening. I slowly pushed my finger inside. Oh god, was she tight. She had felt tight against my tongue, but my finger was different. It was hard and she was tight.

After I pumped in and out a few times, she was wet enough that I added another finger. I could feel her start to tense slightly against the width.

"Baby, you need to relax. You're so tight." I started kissing on her neck again.

I could feel her start to relax a little, so I continued what I was doing. I gently moved my fingers around trying to stretch her a bit, hoping it would help. I knew my cock was on the big side and she was going to feel some pain, but I would help soften the blow, if I could.

I kissed her mouth again, whispering against her lips how much I loved her, because I did.

"Edward, I need you. I love you," she said back to me. "Please make love to me."

With one more kiss, I removed my fingers from her; I moved back over her and placed the tip of my cock at her entrance. I brought my hands back up to her face and leaned up on my elbows. I wanted to see her face as I made love to her for the first time.

"Are you sure, my love?" Just one more time in case she wanted to stop. I would never take pleasure from her without her permission, because I loved her.

"Yes, Edward, yes. I want this so much," she panted while looking into my eyes and rubbing her hands across my back.

"I love you, Bella," I said as I slowly made my way into her.

Her breath hitched and I knew it was starting to hurt her. I stilled my movements as soon as I felt her barrier.

"Please, don't stop. Just do it."

I lowered my mouth to hers to absorb her cries as I pushed forward not stopping until I had nowhere else to go. I could feel her body tense and her breathing hard. Her nails dug into my back. I stayed where I was to let her come down from the pain I had just caused her. My heart hurt right now; I hated that I had to hurt her to make love to her.

"Oh god, baby, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry," I cried against her face.

"It's okay, Edward, please don't cry,' she said between kisses on my lips as she wiped the tears from my eyes.

I can't believe I'm fucking crying, what a fucking pussy I have become.

"Are you okay?" at that moment I needed her to be okay, partly because I hate that I had hurt her and also because I needed to move. I needed to feel more of her. She was so tight and wet and warm. I needed to feel more.

"Yeah, just give a second thought," she smiled and tried to move her hips a bit. I think she was trying to adjust to me being inside of her. I knew I was on the large side. I hoped she wasn't in too much pain.

"Does it still hurt?"

"Not too much now," she whispered.

When she trusted her hips up to me I took that as a good sign and started to pull back. Slowly, I pushed back in all the while looking into her eyes. I did that a few more times before I felt her hips moving with me.

"More, baby," she moaned. "Please give me more."

I picked up my speed a bit and trusted deeper. Fuck, I was in heaven. She felt unbelievable against my cock, squeezing me just right. So wet, so warm, and fuck if she wasn't tight. I was on the brink, but I wanted her to get hers too. I knew that might be impossible, but damn it if I wasn't gonna try.

I kissed her, stroking her tongue with mine. Faster and faster I pumped into her. She threw her head back screaming my name. I moved to her ear.

"God, Bella, hearing you screaming my name. Fuck, that's hot."

I kissed her neck, sucked and bite then kissed again. I knew I couldn't last much longer, so I reached down between us to find her sweet little nub and started rubbing her. Soon, I felt her start to squeeze me tighter. She was making incoherent sounds and I knew she was close.

"Come for me, Bella," I told her. "Come for me."

And with that, she threw her head back again and let out strangled moan just as her wall tightened around me, gripping my cock like nothing I have ever felt before.

"Oh god, baby, yes! I'm coming, fuck yes!" I called out as my release hit me and hit me hard. I collapsed on top of her still feeling both of our climaxed still spiraling out of control.

After a few minutes I was finally able to move off of her and rolled onto my side pulling her with me.

"Wow," was all I could say. She just hummed and nuzzled her face into my chest.

When the feeling was back in my body, I got up out of bed and made my way to the bathroom. After disposing of the condom, I grabbed a washcloth and ran in under the warm water. As I made my way back to her, I caught a glimpse out the window.

"It's snowing again."

Bella had pulled the sheets up around her again, and I chuckled at her.

"What?" She asked.

"Why do you insist on hiding yourself from me?"

"I got a little cold when you left," she smiled sleepily.

I pulled the covers back and sat back down. When I reached down with the towel, she gasped.

"Sorry, I thought it was warm enough."

"No, just surprised me is all. What are you doing?"

"Just cleaning you up a bit. Sorry if it hurts."

"Hey, it's okay. I knew it would happen. Next time will be better." She wiggled her eyebrows.

"Oh, already planning a next time, are we?" I had to laugh at her enthusiasm

"Most definitely. A girl could get use to this."

I took the towel back to the bathroom and tossed it in the hamper. When I made my way back to the bedroom, Bella was standing in front of the window wrapped in a blanket.

"What are you doing, sweet girl?"

"I wanted to watch the snow for a bit. It all seems so peaceful out there."

I had a big plush chair in my room so I pulled it out from the corner and pushed it over to where she was. I took the blanket from her and wrapped us both in it then picked her up. I sat down on the chair and pulled her up onto my lap. We were both still naked, but with the blanket and our body heat, we were warm.

"I love you, Bella," I told her then placed a kiss on the top of her head.

"I love you, too," she told me.

Hearing her say those words to me set my heart on fire. I wished I had realized years ago that she was the one for me. We had wasted so much time. But I couldn't dwell on the past; I had a future to look forward to. This reminded me of something I need to talk to her about.

Last night when I got home from Bella's, my dad had waited up and we talked for a while about a few things I had in mind now that Bella and I were together. We spoke in generalities, but I wanted to talk with Bella alone, before I made any definite plans.

"Bella, how would you feel about me coming back home?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I was kind of thinking about transferring to UW."

"Why? I thought you liked USC," she looked up at me with worried eyes. "What about your scholarship?"

"I did. I mean, I do. I do like going to school there, but here is where you are and I don't think I could handle going months without seeing you."

"Really? Well, I wouldn't want you to just because of me, Edward. Think of your education. We will be fine."

"I know, baby. It's not just about us; I miss my family too much also. I was thinking of moving back after the school year is over anyways," I confessed. "You're just the added incentive. So, do you think you can handle see me every day for the rest of our lives?"

"Hmmmm, I'll have to think about it," she said, while scratching her chin.

"Bella!"

"I'm kidding. Of course, I love that you'll be back home soon," she laughed out.

I pulled her face in for a kiss. My silly girl. My silly, wonderful, beautiful girl. My girl. I liked the sound of that.

We sat in the oversized chair, watching the snow fell outside. She was right, it was peaceful. A while later, I asked her what her favorite gift was that she had gotten this year. She turned to look up at me and placed her hand on my bare chest over my heart.

"Your heart. This, this right here. This is the best gift I have ever gotten. I will cherish it always, my love. Always."

A/N Was it good for you? Hope I'm forgiving for not having a new chapter of SOS yet, as you can see I was writing this Christmas smut for ya. Hope to have the next chapter up before the holidays.

Merry Christmas, happy holidays, Peace, goodwill towards man, and all that other crap.


End file.
